Relationships and Separation

Relationships and Separation

The day comes only because night ends. When a lamp is lit, darkness recedes... hmm... separations come only because relationships exist... The value of relationships is understood only in separation.

In 2005, I often thought of wanting to return to school. (In 2006, I was in another avatar as the Managing Director of a company called Talentia).

I went to school with Priscilla, who worked for me. When I heard about the death of one of the class teachers, Ms. Philomena, the mind of Jayanthi, dressed in a rose-colored uniform, was saddened. For a moment, I thought that even in her coffin, she would have looked beautiful with a single rose near her ear, wearing a beautifully pinned saree and a chic blouse that matched.

There are no students who don't love their teacher. It's a kind of love and devotion. For many people, their first love in school is with their male or female teacher.

Ms. Agnes was a short, unmarried, but not a nun, 'dark' teacher. There was a light in her eyes. She had a beautiful chuckle, which was the great power behind my English proficiency today. She, too, had merged with the air. Priscilla said it was getting late and went home.

The facade of the convent building had changed. I sat in the shade of the spreading banyan tree at the entrance, and my thoughts unraveled backward.

One flashback. About 40 years ago, Sister Rosali Paul and Sister Pauline were on the same school campus. Hmm... I completed 11th grade at St. Raphael Girls Higher Secondary School in Mylapore. At that time, Mother Superior was Sister Rosali Paul. A gentle smile, a graceful walk without trembling, never spoke harshly.

In those days, nuns wore pure white habits with a pocket stitched on the right side. They wore a watch with a chain in it. Around their neck, they wore a Jesus medallion on a black rosary. Light high-heeled shoes. When they walked in the school corridor during quiet school hours, the sound of those shoes would be like drizzle falling on the tin after rain, with a rhythm of tok-tok. What impressed my young mind was their attire, service mindset, gentle way of speaking to everyone, and patient nature (none of which I possess except compassion)!!!! Mmmmm...

When I was studying in 10th grade, my father made me understand that one could help and serve like a nun without becoming a nun.

Headmistress Rosali Paul!!!!! I spent more time in her office doorway than in the classroom. I was present at all events. Fancy fete, inter-school competition, science exhibition - I alternately was a part of everything. The important thing is that I didn't have any official position; Sisters would assign 3/4 of the work, teachers would assign 1/4, and I would do an additional whole portion independently. From setting up benches and chairs to staying until everyone left after the event, I would run around like a bee. Sometimes, Y. Renuka and always M.S. Poorani would join me! (I searched for Poorani on Facebook but couldn't find her... hmm)

Sister Pauline was my math teacher. She taught me math in 9th, 10th, and 11th grades. The distance between math and me cannot be calculated by any formula. Still, the reason I scored 74% in 11th grade was Sister Pauline's strict but caring attention. After 40 years, I'm waiting at the entrance of the same school's convent to see Sister!! I have a small feeling in my heart and a thousand questions. Would Sister have forgotten me? Hmm.

The Sister who came from inside had changed into a saree. "Hey, Jayanthi Sankara?" she said.

I have tears in my eyes. What is this state? It is similar to the Ramanashram feeling I had earlier. Is this what Osho calls the satori state?

She hugged me and kissed my forehead!! The emotion in our hearts spilled as pearls from both our eyes. She asked about me. As I told her, she lamented, "Jesus, what tests for this child!"

Sister and I often talked on cell phones. My profession then was HR consulting, and Sister asked me to find jobs for some women. I was extremely sorry that I couldn't do it.

I was busy for 3 or 4 months, and there were no calls from Sister. When I tried, the message was "switched off." Something urged me to run from the office to the school in broad daylight. My panic was justified. Sister had gone to Jesus in just three months due to cancer. I cried uncontrollably. It seemed like she had returned here from her retirement at the Thanjavur school just to see me. I stood there for a while. The moments I met her shadowed my mind. This separation emptied my peaceful mind.